I am copying a letter into my blog that I wrote to the Today Show this morning. I watched it for a few minutes this morning when they were discussing "Why Men Cheat." I saw Dr. Laura basically express that men often cheat because their needs are not being met at home. She claimed that we should love, cherish and take care of our spouses. Of course, she got a lot of negative responses from people who think she was claiming that it is a woman's fault if her husband cheats.
Here's my letter:
I did not enjoy seeing the way you treated Dr. Laura today. You had her on a panel where she expressed her opinion based on years of experience. Then you held another panel, left her out of it and allowed her to be talked about in a negative way. Then you had yet another segment where Dr. Laura was being interviewed by two of you. She again expressed her opinion and I felt that Ann (I love you, Ann!) wasn't even listening to her. It seemed that she had a strong opinion about this topic and so she was unable to listen without getting upset and trying to "fight" back. Maybe someone who didn't have such strong feelings about the comments should have done this interview. We are all entitled to our opinions and should be able to express them without being attacked. I think Dr. Laura deserves more respect than you gave her. It is obviously not a woman's fault when her husband cheats. He made that choice by himself. I think Dr. Laura wasn't try to blame women for their husband's choices but instead trying to express that many men claim they cheat because some of their needs weren't being met by their wives and they were able to have those needs met by another woman. I believe she was trying to help us strengthen our marriages by reminding us that we should be looking after the needs of our spouses. If we ALL did this, I'm sure the divorce rate would start dropping instead of climbing. Obviously, there are many cases where one spouse is trying his/her best to tend to the needs of the other spouse and the spouse cheats because he is selfish. I believe that divorces are often caused by selfishness on the part of one or both spouses. We should try to focus more on our spouses instead of focusing so much on ourselves. I believe this is what Dr. Laura was trying to express. Loving, cherishing and taking care of our spouses will make for a better marriage. Can you really argue against that?
Sincerely,
Heidi
3 comments:
Yeah, a lot of times the interviewers seem more interested in controversy or getting their own opinions out there than they are in finding out what the interviewee thinks and why.
What a great letter! :) Seriously. I agree with you, too. I think sometimes Dr. Laura comes off WAY strong and even in the wrong way (perhaps intentionally) because of her experiences in counceling.... I do think she puts WAY too much emphasis on women. Yes, women are the guardians of the relationship, but both parties need to contribute equally. I've read one (and started another) of her books and agreed with much of it, but felt she put WAY too much on me (the wife) when I totally put way to much on me already!!!!
RIGHT ON GIRL! Awesome letter! I was just chatting with David last night about a book he was reading that says you have to give 100% and take 100% responsibility in a marriage in order for it to work. not just 50% Of course both partners have to give it. Not just one. One partner taking 200% doesn't work. But you both have to give it your all. I think she is talking to a specific audience here, that is the women who want to know why their husbands are cheating. She is telling them the answer and their reaction is EXACTLY WHY THEY ARE CHEATING. They aren't willing to listen to what they have to say,they just come back with, "But it is your fault too.
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